Playing the Role of Dad

While my ex-husband is involved in our son's life to some extent, he's not exactly your typical father. He's not the outdoors type that likes to camp. He's not the sports type. He's not the intellectual type. He's the religious fanatic type that feels he only needs to teach his son about God. While I agree that spirituality is important, I believe that it also needs to be balanced with other things. For that reason I've found myself often trying to fill in the role that might normally be filled in by a dad.

For example, I've tried to teach my son about sports. The only thing is I don't know much about them myself, not guy sports anyway. When I was younger my only sports were gymnastics and cheerleading. So I've tried to bring my son to a softball game, or show him football on tv, the only thing is I don't know much more about it than he does. Luckily he's still at the age where the basics are good enough. I can say, "that guy's supposed to hit the ball and then he runs to the bases" and I sound like I know what I'm talking about. I'm not sure what I'm going to do once he wants to know more details.

A friend of mine recently suggested that a good boy activity would be to catch tadpoles with him and let him watch them turn into frogs. A great suggestion! Only one little problem...being a girl from the suburbs, I wouldn't recognize a tadpole if it were swimming in my lemonade, much less floating somewhere in the wild. I'm sure by the time I figure it out they will already be full grown frogs. Maybe it's a project I can research for next year....

What really matters:

Recently I ended a relationship with someone I had been dating for a few months. There were several reasons, but right at the top of the list was that I didn't like the way he was dealing with my child. Since then I've been thinking about what I really want in a relationship and how much what I'm looking for has changed since I've become a mom. For example, when I was younger I might have wanted someone that was fun and spontaneous, now I want someone that's a little uptight and really into safety standards :) Yep, those geeky types are looking a lot better now that I've grown up a little. Seriously though, I've realized that probably the most important thing I'm looking for is how a person treats my son and myself. Interests might be different, or might change over time, but a man's personality and the way he treats you will generally remain the same.